Friday, May 26, 2006

This Gots to Stop

With no Boogie approval, a lady who been to Boogie's house quite few times, brought small animal with hard shell, claws, and scaley skin. AND Nat helped lady set up big box of water on table to put small animal in. THEN Nano let small animal with hard shell stay at Boogie's house.

What?! How they do this with no asking Boogie? As though Boogie house open to any vagabond or stray that Nano want to bring.

Not only that, this hard-shelled thing is cutting into Boogie time. Nat talks to it. Nano feeds it. AND when they take it out of box full of water, Nano kicks Boogie out of the room and shuts the door. They kick Boogie out of Boogie's room for scaley runt. SO rude.

Boogie try to complain and jump to water box to tell Nano to get it out of Boogie's house, but Nano just get mad and spank Boogie. What gall. It's like Nano trying to shun Boogie and take over everything that Boogie's.

Well, you watch out you lady who brought hard-shelled animal to Boogie's house. Two can play that game. I know lady be back and Boogie be ready. Boogie good at Boogie games.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Top 10 Reasons Boogie No Have Boyfriend

# 10. Sometimes Boogie pass gas and Boogie no realize. Boogie not know what happened.

# 9. Boogie don't fetch. Someone throw ball and 'spect Boogie to bring it back? What the point? Boyfriends like their bitches to fetch. Boogie fetch what Boogie needs, not what others needs.

# 8. Boogie does lot of scooting. Boogie gots an itchy bum. I no know what wrong, Boogie bum itchy. I gots good way to scratch--Boogie bum scoot. I not sure it attractive.

# 7. Boogie eat too fast. Male dogs get worried when anything eat faster. They gotta worry 'bout safety of their foods. But Boogie could show technique. Boogie hardly chew, that fastest way.

# 6. Boogie has eating disorder. This go long with last reason. Boogie eat fast, that good. Faster Boogie eats, more foods she should get. But sometime when Boogie no chew, things go bad. Lots of coughing, foods come back. And sometime Boogie get hiccup. Boogie never met nother dog who hiccup.

# 5. Boogie snort a lot. Not just for laugh. Boogie snort when I hungry, tired, 'cited, mad, or sad. Some dogs think Boogie growling. Hard to be Chinese princess in Merica, big language barrier.

# 4. Boogie has mind of own, that hard for man to handle. Boogie not same old cookie cutter bitch. Boogie know what she want when Boogie want it. Boogie wants foods. No man will ever come first. That hard to hear.

# 3. Boogie gots things to do. Boogie no wait round for no man--stud or no. Boogie gots schedule and she not gonna wait by backdoor hoping. Forget it. Boogie gots xploring to do. I worth waiting for. He not.

# 2. Males intimidated by Boogie. Boogie weigh 20 lbs. Boogie not big dog. But Boogie can eat large pizza and a pound white cheese with holes all by self. Unless Boogie just ate large pizza or some other big Boogie foods, Boogie mostly muscle. Boogie built tough.

# 1. Boogie can't put out. Look at picture, you see. Nat and Nano force thick, paper pillow over Boogie bum every time it's Boogie's time. They wrap very sticky lock 'round Boogie belly and pillow. So hard to get off. Take Boogie long time of bum scoots and rubbing to get off. No stud want woman who can't put out.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Searching For Something Bigger

Boogie been thinkin. She try to think something more 'portant than foods. Maybe Boogie putting too much self into foods.

Like there's lots of dogs in world that need stuffs and foods. Boogie could help. But lets face it, they can't come share Boogie's home and Boogie can't give Boogie foods away--Boogie needs all Boogie's stuffs.

Or what 'bout all the people who don't have Boogie to love? 'Course everybody love Boogie, but not everybody get to be with Boogie, live in Boogie house, play with Boogie, get Boogie advice and stuffs. So that really hard for people. Boogie could go round and share Boogie. But that would cut nigh night time, foods time, and xploring time. That not work good for Boogie. I gots schedule. Boogie time worth much. Boogie gots things to do.

Boogie hungry. Boogies gots to go find treats.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Determination: Boogie Middle Name

If there's one thing Boogie got, it determination. In this world a Boogie get walked all over without it. Maybe in China I be ok--like I say before, they know portance of Boogie--here in Merica Boogie gots to watch out for Boogie.

Here are a few rules Boogie live by:

Never take "No" for answer.
Nano always try to tell Boogie no. No beg. No jump. No bark. No. No. NOOOOO! It doesn't matter how many time I get No-ed, if Boogie want, Boogie try again and again. Sometime Boogie get it, sometime no. But if Boogie listen to "No" then Boogie never get what want.

Try, Try Again.
Very portant to not give up. So Nat push Boogie off really-big-should-be-Boogie bed for 100th time, Boogie still try. Cause one time Nat be too nigh night to push hard 'nuf or Nat not be there and Nano let Boogie up.

So Nano told and yelled Boogie stop "begging" for foods 552 times. Boogie still give Boogie all. Cause foods is most portant and cause when Nano go way, Nat always give Boogie some.

No Pain, No Gain.
No Boogie got what she want without some hard stuff. Good Boogie stuff doesn't always come easy, even though Boogie always good. Just cause Boogie get spanks, doesn't mean Boogie stop. Some stuffs worth pain. Stuffs like foods and Boogie time.

Patience Is a Virtue.
Nano and Nat store lots of really good Boogie stuffs in tall, plastic boxes. Stuffs like foods on wrappers, foods in smaller boxes, and really, really chewy pink foods that last for lots of bites. They try to keep Boogie out. But Boogie wait. Boogie wait long time. Boogie wait 'til they go way for outside fun and won't take Boogie. Boogie find any plastic box she know foods stored in. Boogie work hard and get all Boogie foods Boogie can.

And biggest Boogie rule: Put Boogie first, rest will follow.


Boogie Beautiful. Boogie am. Nat tell me so every day. It not like Boogie don't already know, but Boogie so beautiful, I let Nat tell every day.

Lot of dogs look in a mirror and bark. This because 1) they dumb or 2) they not beautiful like Boogie and get scared. Boogie look in mirror and Boogie content. Boogie not skiniest or tallest, but I totally beautiful and look xcellent.

Yesterday two guys walk by Boogie and Nat. One guy says to other, "That's the cutest dog I've ever seen. I'm serious." Nat look at Boogie like, "You hear that?" Boogie say, "Sister, Boogie don't need to hear that. Boogie know that."

Monday, May 08, 2006

Boogie, CHO

Boogie have very important job. Boogie job is full-time, 24-hour, no holiday. Boogie oversees all everything at Boogie home. I good. Boogie good at Boogie job.

Nano and Nat say they wish Boogie could use loud, tall machine they push all over floor, back forth, back forth. Wish Boogie would gather up Nano and Nat dirties. Boogie job more 'portant than that. Boogie supervise. Boogie make sure all where it should, when should.

I follow Nat 'round. This not cause I need her. This not cause I love her. This cause Boogie manage her. Make sure Nat no do stupid stuff. And Nano too, but more Nat cause she mine.

When stuff get out of line, I make Boogie workers know. Good ways to let know: snort, cry, bark. Snort is favorite manager style. Good for most stuff. Many way to snort. Boogie one of best at snorts. It good way to keep Nat and Nano informed.

Bark saved for big alerts. ASAP needs. Foods and Boogieluv is xample. Snort, cry, bark all good for foods needs. Boogie bark when they push that loud, tall machine 'round. I not bark AT it, Boogie bark to tell where to go, to tell where needs loud, tall machine.

Nano get mad I do job so good. He yell at Boogie when she try to get things in control. Especially when Boogie bark. Nano even spank Boogie. Try tell Boogie how to do Boogie job. If Nano so smart, Nano would have Boogie job. Boogie good. Not easy to know where everything, everyone is all time and how it smell.

Other than Boogie foods, most important and most ignored work come at night. Lot goes down at night when Nat and Nano sleeping. They so lazy workers. Never get up. Nano just yell more at Boogie, like he supervisor. He be sorry when year review come. He see who boss. He finally see Boogie and Boogie title: Chief Home Officer and Supervisor of Everything.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Boogie Love China

Nano and Nat are not Chinese. If they were they 'preciate Boogie lot more. China people know 'bout Boogie.

Long go, far way, China people that small and smart set out to make Boogie. It took a long time to get actual Boogie. Took so long Boogie come out in 'Merica.

Before Boogie was Pug. Pug dogs made small and pretty for Chinese royalty. 'Specially for little royal laps.

Nano and Nat no understand. I special. I princess of princess. Boogie need much more than Boogie get. More foods 'specially. And Nano no tell Boogie, "get down, no, no, NO, get dOWn." Boogie go where Boogie want. Nano no tell Boogie, "what are you eating? stop eating that! no, NO, drop it, drOPP ITTTT!" Boogie own everything Boogie on, eat, lick, rub.

And Boogie should pick Boogie nigh-night time. Royalty no have curfew. If Boogie want to get up in night and get Nat and Nano up too, it Boogie right. She ultimate ruler. She know what best.

Boogie princess, king, and queen.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

What the hell?!

That what Boogie want to know.

Why? Why would Nano do this to Boogie? And my toy, she help. So wrong. Let Boogie tell why.

A) The sweater is frumpy. Not even behind-the fence-barky-spotty neighbor would wear this blue sham.

B) Boogie boots no made for walkin'. Boogie slip. Boogie slide. Boogie hate.

C) Boogie am a full-figured, beautiful woman. Boogie look good. Boogie no need clothing to accentuate or hide.

Boogie see Nano and Nat put clothes on all time. That fine. They not comfortable with bodies--they wear what want, but Nano and Nat need respect. Respect Boogie decision to flaunt what Boogie got.

Boogie got legs, she know how to use them.