Who Say Big Bone for Big Dog?

This prove Boogie can do everything big dog do. Plus, Boogie do everything Boogie do too.

Ewe

Big Baby is yucky. She have horrible hygiene. She no even care what she look like. Big Baby stays outside go potty all day ‘cause she was so no no bad inside Boogie’s house. When Big Baby do come inside when Nat and Nano get home from ‘xploring, she is dirty and has leaves, petals, and grass stuck in fur. (By way, Big Baby fur not soft like Boogie fur. Big Baby fur is rough, so why Nat and Nano want to pet her? It no feel good. Boogie know—Boogie bite it lot.)

But worst gross thing Big Baby do is eat Boogie treats and let the treat goos stay on Big Baby’s front legs. Big Baby no clean her legs. She let the gooeys stay on arms. That waste of Boogie treats and Big Baby legs matted, gray, crunchy, icky legs. Boogie always clean legs. If Boogie legs get too dirty, I dance ‘round and ‘round ‘til Nat clean them for Boogie.

What wrong with Big Baby? No one ever no teach her ‘bout being beautiful? All Big Baby care ‘bout is having fun and stealing stuffs from Boogie. She steal Boogie foods, Boogie loves, and she walk all over Boogie. Boogie so small, what Boogie gonna do? And if you think Big Baby is a good smell, you very always wrong. Big Baby smell never good. It not only all that pieces of Boogie yard and crusty Boogie treats on her, Big Baby also have nasty no no gas—lots. Big Baby so sick.

The good news of week is that lady who left hard-shelled animal that live in box of water in Nano room, that lady came and took away hard-shelled animal. Thank goodness. One less thing Boogie have worry 'bout.

Very NoNo Bad Big Baby

So, Big Baby still at Boogie's house and she making BIG mess of Boogie's stuffs. Nat and Nano seem bothered, but they no take Big Baby away. Boogie try to tell them she no good and need to leave Boogie's house, but Nano no listen. He even keep giving her Boogie treats and special Boogie foods, that Nano won't let Boogie eat. As if.

Last week Big Baby start moving Boogie stuffs around Boogie's house. Then she started chewing on this stuffs--stuffs that Nano and Nat keep up high and away to keep safe. Big baddest thing Big Baby did was few days ago. Nat and Nano gone and not back from their day's 'xploring, when suddenly out of no where Big Baby grab Boogie's bed--not just no any bed, but Boogie's best, newest bed. Big Baby chew, rip and claw, tear Boogie's bed. Boogie in shock. Boogie mad. But Boogie couldn't do no anything because Big Baby much bigger than Boogie. Boogie say bad words and try make Big Baby stop, but no help. Whole top of Boogie's best bed torn 'part and spread 'cross living room.

When Nat got home, she very mad at Big Baby. She yell, spank Big Baby and make her go outside. Nat say so sorry to Boogie and I happy Big Baby in trouble. Nat and Nano got Boogie new, better look bed, so that one good thing 'bout whole everything.

Next day, Big Baby do same thing to big, big Boogie bed in living room (that Nano no let Boogie on). Boogie thought that end of Big Baby, but no. Nano now make Big Baby go outside for whole time Nano and Nat gone from Boogie's house.

Big Baby act all nice and, "give me love, give me love, I love you, oh hold my paw, all I need is your love," when Nat and Nano 'round. But she no act at all anything like that when they off 'xploring.

On top all this, Big Baby still go potty inside, which not what we do at Boogie's house. Go potty outside, 'course. Dumb Big Baby. Big Baby crazy.

Big Baby

Boogie gonna have to have one-on-one with Nano. He always bringing more things to Boogie’s house for Boogie to worry ‘bout. Friday he bring dog to Boogie’s house. This dog bigger than Boogie, but younger. She just baby, but she big baby. So she no know what she doing, but she all over place. Now Boogie have to chase Big Baby and block Big Baby. Boogie has to make sure Big Baby no get into Boogie’s stuffs and make sure she stay out of trouble. ‘Course she takin’ Boogie time ‘way, and cuttin’ into Boogie loves, foods, treats, and nigh-night time too. More ‘bout that later.

On Saturday, Nat left for long times. When she come back, she had lots of bags full of Boogie stuffs. She pulled out new Boogie necklace. This great. Boogie need new necklace, so Boogie happy. But then what Nat do? She put new Boogie necklace on Big Baby dog. This make Boogie mad. How dare Nat put Boogie necklace on Big Baby?! Boogie not sharing Boogie’s stuffs with Big Baby. So Boogie put Boogie foot down right ‘way—right on Big Baby’s neck, where Boogie’s necklace was. Nat still no do nothing, so when Boogie downstairs and Nano try to see Boogie’s new necklace on Big Baby, Boogie circled Big Baby and bit the carpet ‘round Big Baby. Not even that work. So Boogie had to get serious. Boogie had to let Nat and Nano know, this no o.k. Boogie had no option. Boogie chew on Boogie arm to show necklace is mine.

Finally, Nat take Boogie necklace off Big Baby and put it on Boogie. Boogie beautiful. Nat put Boogie’s old necklace on Big Baby. That fine, ‘specially ‘cause Nat ask first. Big Baby can use Boogie hand-me-downs, but not new stuffs. And no no never Boogie’s foods, any types.

Nano Bad Man

Boogie knows for sure Nano think Nat his toy. He keep taking her away for long days at time. He no even ask if Boogie want to come or no. He just leave Boogie at MamaPapa’s house. Boogie do like it there ‘cause there an Azie, she way big, barkier dog than Boogie. Boogie like to follow Azie and see what it like to be big. Also there lot more people at MamaPapa house—always someone to give Boogie loves, treats, or foods. That really ‘portant. And Boogie other toy live there—she look just like Nat, only smaller. So it not that I no have fun when Nano take Nat ‘way for long days at time. MamaPapa house know how to treat Boogie.

What no right is that Nano have no courtesy for Boogie. He take Nat, who is Boogie toy, with no ask. AND he no ask Boogie if she like to go too. Very rude. No go away be fun without Boogie, so who know what Nano think.

Maybe Boogie take Nat on go away without Nano and see how he like being left out.

Difference in Boogies

The word "boogie" is bein' thrown 'bout in lots ways these days and you may wonder 'bout the difference in boogies. So here I tell you.

First is Boogieman. Boogieman is "terrifying specter; a hobgoblin." He go 'round scaring people and no pretty.

Second Boogie-woogie. Boogie-woogie is style of piano play with up-tempo rhythm, repeat melodic pattern in bass, and not planned changes in treble. This kind music make people dance and stuffs, which bring us to next boogie word, the dictionary verb and noun of "boogie."

Boogie (v): 1. to dance to music. This pretty good boogie word. This bring lot of fun to lot of people. 2. to get going; to move quickly. This o.k. too, 'cause so many people have to do it.

Boogie (n): strong rhythmic music. This go back to boogie-woogie--you can listen to boogie while doing boogie-woogie.

And 'course there always the boogies that come out of nose. These are not favorite boogie word.

Finally, me Boogie. Good Boogie. I am a good protector and terrifier when need to. So Boogie scary like Boogieman, but also me Boogie keep Boogieman 'way. Boogie can definitely boogie-woogie; it so natural for Boogie to boogie. I born with woogie'n hips. me Boogie one melodic pattern and gets to where goin' very quick--lots 'xploring to do, so gots to boogie wherever Boogie goes. As for the nose boogies, 'course me Boogie gots them, but Boogie keeps the boogies under better control than any. me Boogie never even use tissue.

Hope this help. Now you know how lots good me Boogie is--best of all other boogies.

Does This Make Boogie Bad Boogie?

So, Boogie have this issue. Boogie no like guy next door. He look funny. His skin is darker than Boogie’s and Boogie don’t like that. Everybody else around Boogie is light, so flag is right 'way raised when Boogie see Neighbor Guy.

Neighbor Guy try to talk to Boogie few times. Nat tell Boogie to be nice to him. Neighbor Guy try to be friends with Boogie, but I don’t even want to go there. He not only look weird, but smell too. He smell of strange spices and smoke. Boogie know he up to something.

Here good example: Nat and Boogie outside. Nat is pushing a big machine across the lawn that make the grass smaller and the noise bigger. Boogie just supervisin’ Nat. making sure she no do stupid stuffs. Suddenly, Boogie see Neighbor Guy too close to Boogie house with same machine Nat has. Nat very distracted with making grass small, and Boogie hurry to tell Neighbor Guy to get away from Boogie stuffs. Boogie run very fast and bark very loud so Neighbor get message. Neighbor Guy get scared of Boogie. He yell, “no, No, NO, NO! NO!! NOOOO!!!” The closer Boogie get to Neighbor Man, the louder he get and the faster he push his machine. Soon, Nat and Neighbor Guy both yelling “NO! NO! NO!NONO!NO! NO!!” And Neighbor is turning in circles very fast with his loud machine and Boogie doing good job of telling him what is Boogie’s and what is not Neighbor’s.

Nat run, yell and spank Boogie and say, “I’m so sorry,” to Neighbor Guy. Neighbor breathed hard. Neighbor Guy made lawn very short in his circle running. That make Boogie happy. A mark to remember what Boogie taught Neighbor Man.

And let’s face it, if Neighbor Man no have something to hide, Neighbor Man no run.

Boogie letter to president

Dear president Mr.,

It’s Boogie. Boogie want to tell you, you not doing good job. There’s lots of stuffs to do and you not doing and Boogie sufferings.

Boogie sorry, but all your tax cuts provide no relief for Boogie. Boogie work hard, Boogie work long, but Boogie no get refund, no check, no nuthin’. Boogie no know who those cuts for, but no help to Boogie.

I’m sure you’ve heard, but Boogie is CHO—Chief Home Officer—of Boogie house and Nat and Nano. That big position. Boogie fill it well, serve country good and Boogie need more compensation. Boogie know president Mr. no raise minimum wage, (probably ‘cause you need more treats for president Mr.—Boogie get that), but president Mr., you should raise Boogie wage. Boogie don’t get salary, hourly wage, or tips—not to mention healthcare.

Boogie talk more ‘bout healthcare. Give Boogie some. Boogie is good and Boogie is strong, but Boogie get sick. Boogie can’t breathe good. Boogie gots lots itches. Itches turn into crusties and bleeds—‘specially my ears, they always itches and bleeds. That takes lots of medicines and that take lots of treats. That rough on Boogie. Boogie need some assistance. Give up some of president Mr.’s treats and give to Boogie. You totally selfish.

President Mr., Boogie gives a lot to your people and Boogie just want things in return. I even started helping with terrorist threat. Ever since Boogie move to new Boogie house, I put Boogie on security watch. Boogie bark at every noise and person walk by. Boogie make sure bombers, crashers, and killers stay way.

In conclusion, president Mr., give Boogie more. Boogie NEEds it.

Even if president Mr. try to be friends with China, you pretty bad.
You need Boogie help more than Boogie need president Mr.'s help,
Boogie

Boogie's Cup

Is Boogie cup half full or half empty?

That dumb question. ‘Course Boogie cup half empty or empty. If Boogie cup full, Boogie eats at least half foods right way. Who in their right mind leave cup, bowl, or plate full?

Boogie gots to enjoy all Boogie can, when can. No cup runneth over when Boogie ‘round.

Pieces of Boogie

Every once in a while, Nat or Nano gets out Boogie brush. They say it make Booige look beautiful—‘course, Boogie say, I already beautiful. They brush and brush Boogie for long time. So long Boogie legs get tired.

Boogie get worried so many pieces of Boogie come off with brushing. Lots and lots of Boogie on ground, in air, on Nat and Nano. Boogie everywhere. What they think? Boogie need all of Boogie. Who know what pieces of Boogie they taking away. What if it’s the Xploring Boogie? The Boogie Loves? Nigh-night Boogie? Supervisor Boogie? Or worst of all everything, Foods Boogie?

Obviously Boogie can’t let any of Boogie go away. All Boogie, good Boogie. Boogie do only logical thing. Boogie eat pieces of Boogie to get all Boogie back.

Nano and Nat no understand. Nano get mad and yes, he spank Boogie. Is he crazy? Don’t he know, nothing will be same if Bogoie don’t get pieces of Boogie back? Nat and Nano would be in trouble too. I wish they could see what they do to Boogie and why Boogie do what Boogie do.

This Gots to Stop

With no Boogie approval, a lady who been to Boogie's house quite few times, brought small animal with hard shell, claws, and scaley skin. AND Nat helped lady set up big box of water on table to put small animal in. THEN Nano let small animal with hard shell stay at Boogie's house.

What?! How they do this with no asking Boogie? As though Boogie house open to any vagabond or stray that Nano want to bring.

Not only that, this hard-shelled thing is cutting into Boogie time. Nat talks to it. Nano feeds it. AND when they take it out of box full of water, Nano kicks Boogie out of the room and shuts the door. They kick Boogie out of Boogie's room for scaley runt. SO rude.

Boogie try to complain and jump to water box to tell Nano to get it out of Boogie's house, but Nano just get mad and spank Boogie. What gall. It's like Nano trying to shun Boogie and take over everything that Boogie's.

Well, you watch out you lady who brought hard-shelled animal to Boogie's house. Two can play that game. I know lady be back and Boogie be ready. Boogie good at Boogie games.

Top 10 Reasons Boogie No Have Boyfriend

# 10. Sometimes Boogie pass gas and Boogie no realize. Boogie not know what happened.

# 9. Boogie don't fetch. Someone throw ball and 'spect Boogie to bring it back? What the point? Boyfriends like their bitches to fetch. Boogie fetch what Boogie needs, not what others needs.

# 8. Boogie does lot of scooting. Boogie gots an itchy bum. I no know what wrong, Boogie bum itchy. I gots good way to scratch--Boogie bum scoot. I not sure it attractive.

# 7. Boogie eat too fast. Male dogs get worried when anything eat faster. They gotta worry 'bout safety of their foods. But Boogie could show technique. Boogie hardly chew, that fastest way.

# 6. Boogie has eating disorder. This go long with last reason. Boogie eat fast, that good. Faster Boogie eats, more foods she should get. But sometime when Boogie no chew, things go bad. Lots of coughing, foods come back. And sometime Boogie get hiccup. Boogie never met nother dog who hiccup.

# 5. Boogie snort a lot. Not just for laugh. Boogie snort when I hungry, tired, 'cited, mad, or sad. Some dogs think Boogie growling. Hard to be Chinese princess in Merica, big language barrier.

# 4. Boogie has mind of own, that hard for man to handle. Boogie not same old cookie cutter bitch. Boogie know what she want when Boogie want it. Boogie wants foods. No man will ever come first. That hard to hear.

# 3. Boogie gots things to do. Boogie no wait round for no man--stud or no. Boogie gots schedule and she not gonna wait by backdoor hoping. Forget it. Boogie gots xploring to do. I worth waiting for. He not.

# 2. Males intimidated by Boogie. Boogie weigh 20 lbs. Boogie not big dog. But Boogie can eat large pizza and a pound white cheese with holes all by self. Unless Boogie just ate large pizza or some other big Boogie foods, Boogie mostly muscle. Boogie built tough.

# 1. Boogie can't put out. Look at picture, you see. Nat and Nano force thick, paper pillow over Boogie bum every time it's Boogie's time. They wrap very sticky lock 'round Boogie belly and pillow. So hard to get off. Take Boogie long time of bum scoots and rubbing to get off. No stud want woman who can't put out.

Searching For Something Bigger

Boogie been thinkin. She try to think something more 'portant than foods. Maybe Boogie putting too much self into foods.

Like there's lots of dogs in world that need stuffs and foods. Boogie could help. But lets face it, they can't come share Boogie's home and Boogie can't give Boogie foods away--Boogie needs all Boogie's stuffs.

Or what 'bout all the people who don't have Boogie to love? 'Course everybody love Boogie, but not everybody get to be with Boogie, live in Boogie house, play with Boogie, get Boogie advice and stuffs. So that really hard for people. Boogie could go round and share Boogie. But that would cut nigh night time, foods time, and xploring time. That not work good for Boogie. I gots schedule. Boogie time worth much. Boogie gots things to do.

Boogie hungry. Boogies gots to go find treats.

Determination: Boogie Middle Name

If there's one thing Boogie got, it determination. In this world a Boogie get walked all over without it. Maybe in China I be ok--like I say before, they know portance of Boogie--here in Merica Boogie gots to watch out for Boogie.

Here are a few rules Boogie live by:

Never take "No" for answer.
Nano always try to tell Boogie no. No beg. No jump. No bark. No. No. NOOOOO! It doesn't matter how many time I get No-ed, if Boogie want, Boogie try again and again. Sometime Boogie get it, sometime no. But if Boogie listen to "No" then Boogie never get what want.

Try, Try Again.
Very portant to not give up. So Nat push Boogie off really-big-should-be-Boogie bed for 100th time, Boogie still try. Cause one time Nat be too nigh night to push hard 'nuf or Nat not be there and Nano let Boogie up.

So Nano told and yelled Boogie stop "begging" for foods 552 times. Boogie still give Boogie all. Cause foods is most portant and cause when Nano go way, Nat always give Boogie some.

No Pain, No Gain.
No Boogie got what she want without some hard stuff. Good Boogie stuff doesn't always come easy, even though Boogie always good. Just cause Boogie get spanks, doesn't mean Boogie stop. Some stuffs worth pain. Stuffs like foods and Boogie time.

Patience Is a Virtue.
Nano and Nat store lots of really good Boogie stuffs in tall, plastic boxes. Stuffs like foods on wrappers, foods in smaller boxes, and really, really chewy pink foods that last for lots of bites. They try to keep Boogie out. But Boogie wait. Boogie wait long time. Boogie wait 'til they go way for outside fun and won't take Boogie. Boogie find any plastic box she know foods stored in. Boogie work hard and get all Boogie foods Boogie can.

And biggest Boogie rule: Put Boogie first, rest will follow.

Beautiful

Boogie Beautiful. Boogie am. Nat tell me so every day. It not like Boogie don't already know, but Boogie so beautiful, I let Nat tell every day.

Lot of dogs look in a mirror and bark. This because 1) they dumb or 2) they not beautiful like Boogie and get scared. Boogie look in mirror and Boogie content. Boogie not skiniest or tallest, but I totally beautiful and look xcellent.

Yesterday two guys walk by Boogie and Nat. One guy says to other, "That's the cutest dog I've ever seen. I'm serious." Nat look at Boogie like, "You hear that?" Boogie say, "Sister, Boogie don't need to hear that. Boogie know that."

Boogie, CHO

Boogie have very important job. Boogie job is full-time, 24-hour, no holiday. Boogie oversees all everything at Boogie home. I good. Boogie good at Boogie job.

Nano and Nat say they wish Boogie could use loud, tall machine they push all over floor, back forth, back forth. Wish Boogie would gather up Nano and Nat dirties. Boogie job more 'portant than that. Boogie supervise. Boogie make sure all where it should, when should.

I follow Nat 'round. This not cause I need her. This not cause I love her. This cause Boogie manage her. Make sure Nat no do stupid stuff. And Nano too, but more Nat cause she mine.

When stuff get out of line, I make Boogie workers know. Good ways to let know: snort, cry, bark. Snort is favorite manager style. Good for most stuff. Many way to snort. Boogie one of best at snorts. It good way to keep Nat and Nano informed.

Bark saved for big alerts. ASAP needs. Foods and Boogieluv is xample. Snort, cry, bark all good for foods needs. Boogie bark when they push that loud, tall machine 'round. I not bark AT it, Boogie bark to tell where to go, to tell where needs loud, tall machine.

Nano get mad I do job so good. He yell at Boogie when she try to get things in control. Especially when Boogie bark. Nano even spank Boogie. Try tell Boogie how to do Boogie job. If Nano so smart, Nano would have Boogie job. Boogie good. Not easy to know where everything, everyone is all time and how it smell.

Other than Boogie foods, most important and most ignored work come at night. Lot goes down at night when Nat and Nano sleeping. They so lazy workers. Never get up. Nano just yell more at Boogie, like he supervisor. He be sorry when year review come. He see who boss. He finally see Boogie and Boogie title: Chief Home Officer and Supervisor of Everything.

Boogie Love China

Nano and Nat are not Chinese. If they were they 'preciate Boogie lot more. China people know 'bout Boogie.

Long go, far way, China people that small and smart set out to make Boogie. It took a long time to get actual Boogie. Took so long Boogie come out in 'Merica.

Before Boogie was Pug. Pug dogs made small and pretty for Chinese royalty. 'Specially for little royal laps.

Nano and Nat no understand. I special. I princess of princess. Boogie need much more than Boogie get. More foods 'specially. And Nano no tell Boogie, "get down, no, no, NO, get dOWn." Boogie go where Boogie want. Nano no tell Boogie, "what are you eating? stop eating that! no, NO, drop it, drOPP ITTTT!" Boogie own everything Boogie on, eat, lick, rub.

And Boogie should pick Boogie nigh-night time. Royalty no have curfew. If Boogie want to get up in night and get Nat and Nano up too, it Boogie right. She ultimate ruler. She know what best.

Boogie princess, king, and queen.

What the hell?!

That what Boogie want to know.

Why? Why would Nano do this to Boogie? And my toy, she help. So wrong. Let Boogie tell why.

A) The sweater is frumpy. Not even behind-the fence-barky-spotty neighbor would wear this blue sham.

B) Boogie boots no made for walkin'. Boogie slip. Boogie slide. Boogie hate.

C) Boogie am a full-figured, beautiful woman. Boogie look good. Boogie no need clothing to accentuate or hide.

Boogie see Nano and Nat put clothes on all time. That fine. They not comfortable with bodies--they wear what want, but Nano and Nat need respect. Respect Boogie decision to flaunt what Boogie got.

Boogie got legs, she know how to use them.

Bad girl

That's what Nat said to Boogie yesterday.

Boogie was hungry--I NEEDed foods. So Boogie got into the big box filled with Boogie foods--foods Nano keeps from Boogie. Sometimes Boogie can get the big box open, most times no. It's cold in the big foods box, but always some Boogie foods inside. I helps Boogie's self. I ate a few breads, then Nat came to Boogie's house and saw big box open. Nat says, "OOooohhh...BAD giRLL!" I ran away. Nat was mad Boogie left the big box open after I done with foods.

Other big box times better. Boogie found big chunk of cheese full of holes. Boogie ate all cheese foods. Nano very mad Boogie eat cheeses. Next day, go potty outside hard for Boogie.

Different big box Boogie found pizza--more foods than Boogie could eat. I left some pizza foods for Nano and Nat. Still Nano spank me. Put Boogie face right in foods I left for him. Boogie already had 'nuf.

Big box hides Boogie foods. Big box get Boogies in trouble. Silly big box no stop Boogie.

Get to know me--everybody should

Here I am--Boogie. I cute, fun, and good. Everyone love me. I good.

I live with two others. One owner--a Nano. One toy--a Nat. Nano pretty good, but don't 'preciate Boogie. I Boogie, I own everything, and share. Nano so rude, he beat me for 'sploring my stuffs. Nat I love, but she mine and sometime she ignore Boogie or leave when I no say--that rude too. She mine, she can't leave. They both bigger than me, so can't stop.

I always gots stuffs going on. I Boogie, I got stuffs to do. I keep tight schedule. Nano and Nat always try to mess up. Boogie deal is, and owner and toy should understand, Boogie want what she want, when she want and she always NEEDS foods.

I get up with Nano or Nat, and go potty outside before sun is out. I have Boogie house all to self during day. I night night most of morning. When Boogie wake up she gots to find stuffs to do and foods to eat. I eat what I find--I easy when it comes to foods. Nano mad at me lot for finding Boogie foods.

Nano come back to Boogie house when light is going away and he misses Boogie too much. I go potty outside again and Nat shows up soon--she want to play with Boogie. Nano and Nat get some of my foods and I try to make them give me my foods back. Sometimes Boogie thinks Nano wants Nat to be his toy.

Before Boogie foods and after Boogie foods, I need loves and more night night. Long after sun gone, Nano and Nat go night night and sometimes I want night night and sometimes I not want. If Boogie not ready, she makes lots of noise to try to get Nano and Nat up for play or foods. I hungry. Boogie snorts loud and runs under Nano bed. I go night night when Boogie wants. Night night fun when I want--I made Boogie bed pretty with good stuffs. I find my stuffs everywhere and use it for Boogie bed add ons. Boogie socks and gloves I let Nano wear are good for Boogie bed.

Boogie tireds. I gots stuffs to do.
Boogie be back.